All That Was There: That's What I Do
by kzingirl
Summary: Set early in Season 3 Sydney and Vaughn have a conversation about the status of their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Note: This fic is in script format however it's extremely basic and doesn't contain many of the technical details. It's essentially a dialogue piece with some description. Also the title comes from Dido's "White Flag" and Coldplay's "Sparks."  
  
INT. - OPS CENTER - NIGHT  
  
Sydney is sitting at her desk staring blankly at her computer when off-screen we hear:  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd? (beat) Sydney?   
  
Syd shakes her head and turns to see Vaughn standing next to her. Behind him the Ops Center is deserted.   
  
SYDNEY  
Oh... Um, I'm sorry, what were you saying?   
  
Vaughn looks at her with his brow wrinkled in concern.   
  
VAUGHN  
I wasn't saying anything. I just came over to see how you were doing.   
  
SYDNEY  
Oh. Well, I'm fine. Thanks.   
  
He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms.  
  
VAUGHN  
Sydney, you're in the office by yourself staring at your screensaver.  
  
SYDNEY  
I'm not by myself.   
  
Vaughn sighs. She has him there.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, well, Lauren's in Washington so it was either catch up on some work or spend the evening at home alone watching the game.  
  
SYDNEY  
The Kings?  
  
VAUGHN  
The season's starting up again.  
  
They regard each other for a moment since neither of them can think of anything to say. Syd turns back to her computer. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. Vaughn picks up on this and pulls up a chair.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, seriously, what's wrong?   
  
SYDNEY  
I told you, I'm fine.   
  
VAUGHN  
How much sleep have you been getting? An hour a night? Maybe two?   
  
She turns toward him.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, really, I appreciate your concern but you don't have to worry about me.  
  
VAUGHN  
I've never worried about you because I had to. (beat) Syd, ever since I got back I've been watching you push yourself, working long hours, going on virtually every mission that's been run out of this office. It's obviously taking its toll.   
  
SYDNEY  
I'm fine, really. I just haven't felt like sleeping lately.   
  
He looks at her intently, instinctively knowing that there's more to it than that. He's right. His silent look compels her to continue.  
  
SYDNEY  
It's not easy to go to sleep when you're not sure where or when you'll wake up if you do. (beat) Besides, this feels more like home than my place.   
  
Vaughn hates to see her like this and we can see that he desperately wants to do something to help. He gets an idea.  
  
VAUGHN  
Then how about this: We go see what we can scrounge up in the cafeteria and then we bring it back and watch the Kings' game. There's like a hundred TVs in here I'm sure one of them gets cable. And if not maybe Marshall's still...  
  
It gets to be too much for Syd. She says his name urgently to get his attention.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn...  
  
He stops and remembers who they are. His excitement quickly fades and he looks down.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah. You're probably right.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, I...   
  
He looks up at her hesitation. She takes a deep breath and continues.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, I'm not sure I know how to go back to being just friends with you.   
  
He nods. How can he possibly respond to that?  
  
SYDNEY  
Sorry.  
  
VAUGHN  
No. I shouldn't have suggested it. And you need to be getting home soon anyway.  
  
SYDNEY  
I will. I just have a few more things I want to go over.  
  
She starts to turn back to her computer but he reaches out and stops her by placing his hand on hers. She looks at him.   
  
VAUGHN  
I mean it, Syd. You can't keep going like this. (beat) You're scaring me.   
  
She sighs and pulls away from him.  
  
SYDNEY  
I can't stop. I've already lost two years of my life and I'm not about to waste anymore of it.   
  
VAUGHN  
I know you want to find out what happened to you and we will. But you're no good to the Agency or yourself if you're so damn tired you can't even see straight.   
  
He stands.  
  
VAUGHN  
So come on. I'm taking you home.  
  
SYDNEY  
I have my own car.   
  
VAUGHN  
And you're in no condition to drive it. So let's go.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn...  
  
VAUGHN  
Sydney, I can't stand seeing you like this, not without doing something about it. So please, let me take you home.   
  
Syd allows her shoulders to drop and she somehow manages to look even more exhausted. With a deep breath she stands.   
  
SYDNEY  
Alright. Just let me get my stuff together.   
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. - VAUGHN'S CAR - NIGHT  
  
He pulls up to the front of her house. She's fast asleep in the passenger seat.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd...  
  
Slowly he reaches over to gently shake her awake but the instant he touches her she sits up with a start and backs away. He holds up his hands in front of him.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, it's okay. It's just me. You're home.   
  
Syd looks at him and then out the window. You can see the fatigue etched in her features.   
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah. Home.   
  
She looks back at him and tries to put on a brave face.  
  
SYDNEY  
Thank you. You really didn't have to do this.  
  
He sees right through it.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yes I did.   
  
He turns in his seat so he can face her directly.  
  
VAUGHN  
Look, Sydney, I don't know how to do this either. So much has changed... But you need to know, no matter what happens, I'll be here for you. It's like I've always told you: "You have my number."  
  
Syd is now barely holding back the tears and it's all she can do to nod in response to his declaration. Finally she composes herself and tries to smile through it.  
  
SYDNEY  
I know. Thank you.  
  
VAUGHN  
You don't have to thank me. I'm just happy you made it home safely.   
  
She doesn't say anything. She can't. Vaughn tries to fill the silence.  
  
VAUGHN  
Um, you know, if you want, I can pick you up tomorrow...  
  
SYDNEY  
No, that's okay. I think I might take tomorrow off.   
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, that's a good idea. I'll let Dixon know. And I'll have a couple of agents bring you your car.   
  
SYDNEY  
I'd appreciate that.   
  
They both sit in silence for a moment.  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, I should probably take your advice and go get some sleep.  
  
VAUGHN  
You'll feel much better if you do.   
  
They both know that isn't true. She reluctantly reaches for the door handle but she doesn't move to get out of the car. Neither of them is sure how to do this anymore.   
  
VAUGHN  
I guess this is good night then.  
  
She looks at him one last time.  
  
SYDNEY  
Good night.   
  
And then she's out of the car and walking toward her front door. We stay in the car with Vaughn as he watches her unlock her front door. Once she does she looks back at him and gives him another one of her forced smiles. He returns it with one of his own. Then she closes the door and he drives away.   
  
CUT TO: 


	2. Chapter 2

INT. - OPS CENTER - DAY  
  
It's a typical day at work as Michael Vaughn sits at his desk. He looks a little tired but otherwise he's fine. From behind him Eric Weiss walks up.   
  
WEISS  
Hey, have you seen Syd?  
  
VAUGHN  
She's not in today. She took the day off.  
  
WEISS  
Really? I could have sworn that I parked next to her car this morning. Then again all those CIA sedans look the same so I could be wrong.  
  
VAUGHN  
No, it was probably her. She left it here last night when I took her home.  
  
WEISS  
When you did what?  
  
VAUGHN  
Look nothing happened. She was too tired to drive so I drove her home myself.  
  
WEISS  
It's about damn time.  
  
VAUGHN  
What are you talking about?  
  
WEISS  
You've been avoiding her ever since she got back.  
  
VAUGHN  
No I haven't. We see each other all the time. We've worked cases together. I've spoken to her practically every day since I started back.  
  
WEISS  
About what? Work? That's not what the two of you need to talk about.  
  
VAUGHN  
We've talked about other things.  
  
WEISS  
The time she yelled at you in the hallway doesn't count.  
  
VAUGHN  
She came to see me at school. Before I came back.   
  
WEISS  
She did? What did she say?  
  
VAUGHN  
That I shouldn't worry about her when I made my decision about whether to come back or not. She said she was fine with it.   
  
Weiss remembers Drunken!Syd quite well and so he rolls his eyes.  
  
WEISS  
What did you say?  
  
VAUGHN  
I just told her how much I loved her and what losing her did to me.  
  
There's some hesitation on Vaughn's part that makes Weiss suspicious.  
  
WEISS  
And?  
  
VAUGHN  
And that I didn't regret moving on with my life.  
  
Weiss grimaces and shakes his head.  
  
WEISS  
What the hell were you thinking?  
  
VAUGHN  
I wasn't thinking anything.  
  
WEISS  
Obviously.  
  
VAUGHN  
All I did was tell her the truth.  
  
WEISS  
The truth? First off all the truth is the last thing she needs right now. The truth is that it's two years later her friends are all gone, her boyfriend is married, and she doesn't have a clue about what the hell just happened to her. So I'm sure she was more than happy to hear "the truth" about how you packed up the U-Haul on your relationship.   
  
VAUGHN  
That's not what I meant.  
  
WEISS  
It doesn't matter what you meant. It's what she heard. Which wouldn't be so bad except it's not even the truth.   
  
VAUGHN  
You saw what I was like. If I hadn't moved on...  
  
WEISS  
I know. But I also know that you asked me to watch out for her. Admit it, you still have feelings for her.  
  
VAUGHN  
I never denied that.  
  
WEISS  
Not even to yourself?   
  
VAUGHN  
What does it matter? It's not like I can do anything about it.  
  
WEISS  
Can't you? Then what the hell were you doing taking her home last night? Look, just because you can't be her boyfriend doesn't mean that you have to cut her out of her life. I mean, how long did you two know each other before you started going out? You never treated her like this back then.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, but Lauren...  
  
WEISS  
This isn't about you and Lauren. This is about you and your best friend, Sydney Bristow. Remember her? She needs you. I try to do what I can but I'm second string. She doesn't want me. She wants Francie or Will or you. And Francie and Will can't be there for her. You can.  
  
VAUGHN  
I know. You should have seen her last night. She looked so sad and tired. I couldn't take it. I had to do something.   
  
WEISS  
And you should have. You didn't do anything wrong. You weren't cheating on Lauren. She's your wife but Sydney is your friend. The two aren't mutually exclusive.  
  
VAUGHN  
Tell that to Lauren.  
  
WEISS  
You know what, forget Lauren. I'm sorry, I know she's your wife but you have an obligation to Sydney. The two of you have too much history together for you to just abandon her like this. If Lauren can't understand that then that's her problem.  
  
VAUGHN  
I wish it were that easy.  
  
WEISS  
Hey, I never said that this would be easy. But you owe it to Syd and to yourself to do more than just ignore her. This isn't going to go away. Now you need to sit down with Sydney like two adults and figure out how you're going to handle this.   
  
VAUGHN  
But that's the problem. Last night she told me that she didn't know how to be just friends. And I didn't have an answer to that. Cause I don't know how to do this either. (beat) Eric, I don't trust myself with her. It's too easy for me to fall back into our old patterns. I can't tell you how many times I've had to stop myself from touching her back or rubbing her shoulder or a thousand other little things that were as natural as breathing for me when I was with her.   
  
WEISS  
Mike, I don't have any answers for you. All I know is that being a friend comes down to one thing: friends look out for each other. Maybe that's where you should start.   
  
VAUGHN  
Maybe. It's funny but that's exactly where we started 4 years ago. I met her at the pier and she was a mess. I didn't know what to do so I just listened and told her that I'd be there for her.   
  
WEISS  
See? So why can't you do that now?  
  
VAUGHN  
I already did.  
  
WEISS  
What?  
  
VAUGHN  
Last night, when I dropped her off, I told that if she ever needed anything I'm here for her.  
  
WEISS  
So you told her that you loved her but you moved on and then later you told her that you were still there for her? Gee, that's not confusing at all.  
  
VAUGHN  
Hey, I told you...  
  
WEISS  
I know. I know. I was just trying to show you how crazy this has got to be for her too. She hasn't had two years to adjust to not being with you. As far as she's concerned she went to sleep with a boyfriend and woke up to find him married to another woman. Not that it's any better for you. You finally put your life back together only to have her come back and call all of it into question.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, but it's not like I'm not happy to have her back. Seeing her again, realizing that it was really her, it was like this weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. But now...  
  
WEISS  
Hey, I'm not the one that needs to hear all of this. She does.   
  
VAUGHN  
But what do I say to her? What can I say? Especially since part of me wonders what might have happened if only I would have waited a few more months. Held out a little longer...  
  
WEISS  
Don't. As far as you knew, she was dead. You didn't do anything wrong.  
  
VAUGHN  
Then why do I feel like I did?  
  
WEISS  
I don't know. Maybe that's something the two of you should talk about.  
  
VAUGHN  
But how do you even start a conversation like that?   
  
WEISS  
Just tell her how you feel. And then let her tell you how she feels. After that... who knows? But you can't keep going like this. You can't keep shutting her out and pushing her away. It's not working. Believe me, I've seen both sides of this and neither of you are happy.   
  
VAUGHN  
You're right.  
  
WEISS  
Of course I am. Just call me Dr. Eric.  
  
Finally Vaughn smiles, just a little.   
  
VAUGHN  
You really should consider charging by the hour.  
  
WEISS  
I've thought about it. But non-profits get all the breaks. Just look at Sloane.   
  
Vaughn shakes his head.  
  
VAUGHN  
Thank you. I really have been screwing this all up, haven't I?   
  
WEISS  
It hasn't been one of your finer moments. But hey, it's not like there's books on the subject or anything. Which is why you have me. Cause friends don't let friends be idiots. At least without calling them on it. Friends also don't let friends go hungry. And since Syd is obviously not available for lunch I may as well ask you.  
  
VAUGHN  
Well, with an invitation like that...  
  
WEISS  
Hey, you should just be glad that I'm willing to put up with you. I've got front row seats to all this and let me tell you it isn't fun to watch. So let's go.   
  
And the two of them walk off to lunch.   
  
CUT TO: 


	3. Chapter 3

INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - EARLY EVENING  
  
There's a knock at the door. We can hear Syd off-screen in her bedroom.   
  
SYDNEY  
It's open!   
  
The camera pans over to see her walking out of the hallway into the living room as we hear the door open.   
  
SYDNEY  
So what'll it be tonight? I was thinking Lomeli's pizza but...  
  
She stops when she sees who's at the door.   
  
SYDNEY  
Oh. Um, hi.   
  
It's Vaughn. He looks uncertain.  
  
VAUGHN  
Hi.   
  
She motions for him to come in and they sit down. He's on a chair and she's on the couch across from him.  
  
SYDNEY  
Sorry, I thought you were Weiss.   
  
VAUGHN  
I figured. He told me he comes over sometimes.  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah. We didn't really know each other that well before but ever since I got back he's been keeping me company.  
  
Syd thinks about what she just said and considers Vaughn's expression.  
  
SYDNEY  
You asked him to do it, didn't you?   
  
Vaughn takes a moment to consider lying to her but his hesitation is the only answer she needs.   
  
SYDNEY  
Why?  
  
He shrugs.   
  
VAUGHN  
I was worried about you. I know how hard it is to come home to an empty apartment every day when you're used to someone being there. I just didn't want you to fell like you were all alone.   
  
SYDNEY  
So you asked Weiss to keep an eye on me?  
  
Vaughn smiles slightly at this.  
  
VAUGHN  
It's not like I had to twist his arm. He was just telling me how much he likes spending time with you.   
  
Syd looks at him skeptically. Vaughn's all nervous and starting to sweat. Something is going on.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, why are you here?  
  
He tries to play it off like it ain't no thang.  
  
VAUGHN  
Um, I just thought I'd come by and see how your day off went.  
  
Syd knows he's lying but she goes with it for now, mainly because it's nice to just be able to talk to him about something other than work and the marriage that dare not speak its name.  
  
SYDNEY  
It was good. I slept in late and then my dad came by with my car. We talked for a bit and he even let me take him shopping for new furniture for his apartment.   
  
Vaughn has to chuckle at that.  
  
VAUGHN  
Seriously? For some reason I just can't imagine Jack Bristow in a Pottery Barn.   
  
Syd laughs too.  
  
SYDNEY  
I know. Turns out he has quite a flare for interior decorating. He picked out some great stuff.  
  
VAUGHN  
Next thing you know we'll find out that he can sing and dance too.  
  
SYDNEY  
At this point I don't think I'd be surprised. Ever since I got back we've been spending a lot of time together, having normal conversations. It's been great. Before he was always kind of cold and distant but now... I don't know. Something's different.  
  
VAUGHN  
Whatever it is, I'm glad. I know how much you've always wanted a better relationship with him.   
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah, it's been one of the few good things to come out of all this. I just wish we could've gotten here without me having to die. (beat) You know when I was a kid one of my favorite books was Tom Sawyer.   
  
VAUGHN  
Let me guess, you liked all the adventures?  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah. Growing up in the suburbs I used to wish I could go with them, playing in the woods and the caves. It sounded so exotic and exciting.   
  
Syd pauses and looks away. She's not sure about this. Her tone becomes more serious.  
  
SYDNEY  
But the one part that always fascinated me was Tom and Huck's funeral. I always wondered what people would say about me if I died, what they would do.   
  
Vaughn realizes what she's asking.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd...  
  
SYDNEY  
You don't have to tell me. It's just one of those things I've been thinking about. I'm sorry I even brought it up.  
  
VAUGHN  
If you really want to know...  
  
SYDNEY  
It's okay really. My dad already told me that you spread my ashes at sea.  
  
Now it's Vaughn's turn to look away.  
  
VAUGHN  
We would have rather buried you but we never found a body and what we did find wasn't much so we just... Neither of us could stand burying another empty casket.   
  
SYDNEY  
Where did you go?  
  
VAUGHN  
Off the coast by the bluffs in Pacific Palisades. I considered the pier but the bluffs are more... peaceful. I don't know. For some reason that seemed important at the time. (beat) I would have thought your dad would have wanted to do it but he was, uh, kind enough to give me one last moment alone with you.  
  
SYDNEY  
It was just you?  
  
VAUGHN  
For that. We also had a small gathering when they put your name on the memorial. We tried to get you a star but since you weren't technically on assignment when you died... Anyways a small group of us stayed after work...  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. THE OPS CENTER - EVENING  
  
Jack, Vaughn, Weiss, Marshall, Carrie, and Kendall are standing around the memorial looking at Sydney's freshly carved name. No one else is around. They all look tired and sad, especially Vaughn. He has a thick layer of stubble on his jaw and his eyes are bloodshot with bags under them. Jack, who isn't looking his best either, glances at Vaughn, sighs, and takes a step forward.  
  
JACK  
I just want to thank you all for coming. I decided to forego a more elaborate service due to the fact that I imagine Sydney would have wanted it this way. (He hesitates) If anyone has anything that they'd like to say...  
  
Kendall steps forward.  
  
KENDALL  
I would. To be honest I'm surprised you invited me. Sydney and I didn't always get along. I thought that she was stubborn and reckless and she thought I was an insensitive ass. That said her abilities as an agent were as undeniable as her loyalty to her friends and colleagues. And I knew that if I ever got into trouble she would be the one I'd want leading the rescue team. Despite our differences, I respected her and I will miss working with her.   
  
He steps back and Weiss takes a reluctant step forward.   
  
WEISS  
I guess I'll go next. I didn't really know Sydney all that well. We worked together on a few missions and she bought me a plant when I got shot but that was about it. Most of what I knew about her was from Mike. He's always been a stickler for rules and protocol but when he met Sydney suddenly there wasn't a rule he wouldn't break if he thought it would help her. I'll admit, I didn't always agree with him but the more I saw them together, the way she was just as willing to do anything for him, how happy she made him... Sydney was an amazing person and I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to know her better.  
  
Weiss is a little sniffly at the end of this and he steps back with a concerned glance at Vaughn who's just staring at the floor. Marshall sends a nervous look at Carrie and then he steps forward.   
  
MARSHALL  
Um... okay... Well, I'm not very good at public speaking or emotional moments and since this is both I was planning on writing something down so that I wouldn't digress as often as I usually do but I couldn't decide what to write. Should I relate a funny or meaningful anecdote, say about the time she rescued me and saved my life, (He looks at Dixon) with Mr. Dixon's help of course? That was pretty special. Or should I talk about how nice she always was to me. Others - I won't name names - tend to snap at me cause when I get nervous, which is pretty much all the time, I start to ramble but Sydney never yelled at me or interrupted me... well, that's not true, she would stop me but she was always really nice about it and sometimes she'd even smile when she did it so I wouldn't really mind cause when she smiles she gets these really cute dimples and...  
  
Marshall starts to get choked up and Carrie puts a hand on his shoulder. He looks back, smiles at her, and gets himself together.   
  
MARSHALL  
Like I said, I just couldn't decide. She just had too many good qualities. And I'm gonna miss all of them. (beat) I'm gonna miss her.   
  
He steps back and Carrie puts her arm around him. Dixon steps forward. He has this air of quiet sorrow hanging about him that we all know Carl Lumbly can do so well.  
  
DIXON  
Like Marshall, I'll also remember Sydney's smile. When I was first assigned to work with her I knew she was a capable agent but when I met her and saw that smile I couldn't help but wonder how this sweet young college student could possible hold her own in the field. On our first mission together the operation was compromised and I was captured. Not only did Sydney complete the mission on her own but against orders she came back to rescue me. I watched her take down 5 guards twice her size and then she fought off 5 more while dragging me to the nearest safe house. I passed out somewhere along the way but when I woke up there she was a little bruised and battered but smiling. (beat) We've been through a lot since then and while things haven't always been easy I know I will never have a better partner or friend.   
  
Dixon steps back. Jack looks expectantly at Vaughn but he's still lost in his grief. After a moment, Jack steps forward.  
  
JACK  
I hadn't planned on saying anything. And then I realized that that was the problem. I left far too many things unsaid and while it is no longer possible to say them to her I feel compelled to say them to you. (beat) Many of you were there for her when I wasn't and I appreciate that. Our relationship was always complicated but in these past two years, through our work together, Sydney and I were able to address many of the things that stood between us. It was never easy but it was worth it and my only regret is that I was unable to spend more time with the strong beautiful intelligent and amazing woman my daughter had become. I am so proud of her and I will always love her. (beat) I hope she knew that.   
  
He stops. His face maintained it's usual stoic mask while he was talking but his voice betrayed every emotion. When it ends you can tell it took a lot for him to say that. Again, he looks at Vaughn and again he receives no response. He sighs.  
  
JACK  
Thank you, again, for coming I...  
  
VAUGHN  
Wait...  
  
Vaughn's voice is practically a croak. He looks up and his eyes are red and there are tears streaming down his face. He shuffles forward and looks at everyone.  
  
VAUGHN  
I just... Syd was...  
  
He can't do it. He looks down again and rasps:  
  
VAUGHN  
This was her favorite suit.   
  
He's trying to say something, anything but that's all he can think to say. Jack puts a hand on his hunched shoulders. Jack's voice is hushed and concerned.  
  
JACK  
Michael.   
  
That's all it takes.   
  
VAUGHN  
I'm sorry. I just can't...  
  
Vaughn turns and walks a few feet away still crying. Jack looks at Vaughn and then turns to everyone else. He nods as if to say goodbye and thank you. Everyone else is looking at him with questions in their eyes, especially Weiss who gives Jack a look that says, "Do you want me to take him?" But Jack just turns and joins Vaughn who's facing the memorial now. Everyone else exit discreetly. Vaughn reaches up and tentatively runs his finger across her name.  
  
VAUGHN  
There was so much that I wanted to say. Not just here but to her.   
  
JACK  
I know. So did she.   
  
Vaughn doesn't say anything.   
  
Off that we cut back to: 


	4. Chapter 4

INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUED  
  
Vaughn has apparently stood up while he was relating this to her. He's also turned his back. She's looking at him with incredible empathy and sadness, her eyes wet with tears.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn...  
  
He turns around and give her one of those amazing looks of his like he did when he told her all he wanted to do was kiss her in Phase One or how he missed her too in Repercussions. His voice is low and hurried.  
  
VAUGHN  
What I wanted to tell them was how much I love the way your nose would crinkle when you were concentrating or how you could withstand unimaginable torture but you couldn't take more than two seconds of me tickling you. I wanted to tell them how you'd mumble nonsense in your sleep like "Don't frost the pie" or how your favorite part of a hockey game was when the Zamboni would come out. I wanted to tell them everything, every memory, every moment, every word, look, gesture. I could feel you slipping away and I was afraid that one day I was going to wake up and wonder if it ever really happened. I needed to tell somebody, anybody, cause for some reason that would make what we had real again.   
  
He turns away again.  
  
VAUGHN  
And all I could do was make a stupid comment about my suit.   
  
SYDNEY  
The three-button navy blue Hugo Boss?  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah.   
  
SYDNEY  
I loved that suit. It really highlighted your eyes.   
  
She says this next line in a lighter tone obviously meant to cheer him up.  
  
SYDNEY  
And it made your butt look great.   
  
Vaughn turns around, smiles, and sits back down again.  
  
VAUGHN  
It did, didn't it?   
  
SYDNEY  
Oh yeah. (beat) So, um, whatever happened to it?  
  
VAUGHN  
It's in the back of my closet somewhere. I never could wear it again.   
  
Syd nods sadly at this.  
  
SYDNEY  
I did the same thing with Danny. The dress I wore to his funeral I bought for an awards banquet at the hospital. It wasn't a designer gown or anything it's just that I was never one for getting dressed up with him. I did enough of that when I was at work. So when I showed up wearing that dress...  
  
She smiles slightly at the memory.  
  
SYDNEY  
He loved that dress.   
  
VAUGHN  
How did you do it?  
  
SYDNEY  
What?  
  
VAUGHN  
Go to class? Get out of bed? Go back to work?  
  
Syd thinks about this for a moment. She's looking out the window as she speaks.   
  
SYDNEY  
I loved Danny. He was a good man and when I found him like that... I was numb for a long time. There were days I don't even remember. But I kept myself going because I knew that if I stopped, if I let myself remember, all I'd see was him... like that. (beat) So I went to the gym, I went to class, I read a lot, and I ran even more. Anything to keep from seeing him again.   
  
She looks back at Vaughn with a smile.   
  
SYDNEY  
And then I met you and things started to get better. There were even days when I was able to consider being happy again. I like to think that's what he would have wanted.   
  
She realizes what she just said.   
  
SYDNEY  
That's how it was with Lauren, wasn't it? After I died...  
  
Vaughn looks down. This is hard for him to say.   
  
VAUGHN  
Not quite. (beat) I know that's how it must seem but when I told you that I didn't regret moving on with my life I led you to believe that I was talking about Lauren and I wasn't. I was talking about you.   
  
SYDNEY  
Me?  
  
VAUGHN  
After you died I couldn't stay in LA. Everywhere I went I saw something that reminded me of us, of you. The worst was at the CIA. I'd sit at my desk or I'd be in a briefing and I'd find myself turning to look at you just to see your smile. But you weren't there and... I couldn't take it. I barely lasted two weeks.   
  
SYDNEY  
That's when you left the country?   
  
VAUGHN  
I needed to go somewhere that didn't remind me of you.   
  
He chuckles mirthlessly.  
  
VAUGHN  
I had no idea how many places you'd been til I tried to get away from you. London, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Vienna, Nice... I'd last maybe a week before I'd recognize some restaurant or hotel or sometimes even a trashcan where you made a dead drop and I'd have to leave.   
  
SYDNEY  
You did that for 6 months?  
  
VAUGHN  
No. I only did that for a couple of months before I gave up and settled in Nice.   
  
SYDNEY  
Nice? Not the...  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah. The owner was understandably reluctant given what happened the last time but I must have looked pretty pathetic cause he still let me stay. He even gave me a job washing dishes and he didn't seem to mind when I'd show up late and hung over in the morning. (beat) And then one day a few months later your dad showed up.   
  
SYDNEY  
My dad? What was he doing there?   
  
VAUGHN  
Looking for me...  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. ROUSSEAU'S (NICE) - NIGHT  
  
Vaughn is sitting at the bar cradling a drink and watching a soccer game on TV. He looks gaunt, tired, and pale. Jack comes up and takes the stool next to him. Vaughn glances over briefly and then turns back to the game.  
  
VAUGHN  
How'd you find me?  
  
JACK  
You're sitting in the restaurant where you and my daughter foolishly decided to have your "first date."   
  
VAUGHN  
Ah, so you knew about that then.  
  
JACK  
I wouldn't be much of an operative or a father if I didn't.  
  
Vaughn nods and takes a drink.  
  
VAUGHN  
What do you want, Jack?  
  
JACK  
The CIA closed their investigation into Sydney's death without any concrete results. They feel that their resources are better allocated elsewhere. I have other priorities. I would think that you would too.   
  
Vaughn doesn't respond. He just keeps watching the game. Jack starts to get frustrated.  
  
JACK  
Well? Are you going to continue to drown yourself in your grief and self-pity or are you going to help me find whoever is responsible for Sydney's murder?   
  
VAUGHN  
I don't know, Jack. I'm comfortable here and this stuff is awfully good. You should try some.  
  
Jack looks at the drink in Vaughn's hand.  
  
JACK  
I have. It didn't work.   
  
VAUGHN  
(Absently mumbles) So that's why she hated the smell of whiskey.   
  
Jack is tired of this and he stands up.  
  
JACK  
Are you going to help me or not?  
  
Vaughn turns on the stool to face him. He's tired too.   
  
VAUGHN  
Why? It won't bring her back.   
  
JACK  
And this will?  
  
VAUGHN  
Sydney's dead and I am not about to face that fact sober.   
  
Jack shakes his head and glares at Vaughn.  
  
JACK  
You are so weak and pathetic. I knew you were never good enough for her.   
  
VAUGHN  
(Under his breath) Tell me something I don't know.  
  
Vaughn begins to turn back to his drink and the game. Jack continues:  
  
JACK  
She needed somebody strong, somebody who would never let her down. (beat) She needed somebody other than you. You never loved her as much as she deserved.   
  
At Jack's last comment Vaughn whirls around on his stool to face Jack.   
  
VAUGHN  
How dare you...  
  
In his inebriated state Vaughn loses his balence and falls to the floor. Jack looks down at him with pity and disgust. His voice has a hint of sadness to it.  
  
JACK  
If it had been you she would have never stopped looking.   
  
Vaughn looks up at Jack, wiping blood from his split lip. His tone is filled with bitterness.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, well, she's dead so that doesn't really matter now, does it?  
  
Jack shakes his head and walks out. Vaughn watches him go and adds quietly, sadly:  
  
VAUGHN  
Nothing does.  
  
CUT TO: 


	5. Chapter 5

INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUED  
  
We're back with Sydney and Vaughn after he told her the story about her father and him in Nice. She is looking at him thoughtfully. He can't look her in the eye.   
  
SYDNEY  
I was wondering what happened between the two of you.  
  
VAUGHN  
I failed his daughter. I'm just lucky he didn't shoot me.   
  
She reaches out and touches him lightly on the knee. She waits for him to look up at her.   
  
SYDNEY  
You thought I was dead.   
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, but you weren't. And if I had worked with your father maybe together we could have found something.   
  
SYDNEY  
You would have had to work with my mother.  
  
Vaughn shrugs.  
  
VAUGHN  
I did it before. And for you, I should've been able to do it again.   
  
SYDNEY  
In which case the NSC would have arrested the both of you.  
  
Vaughn looks away again.  
  
VAUGHN  
At least that way I would've been waiting for you when you got back.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, don't. Things happen the way they happen. There's no point in dwelling on what might have been.   
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, but your dad was right. I knew it even then. That's why things got worse after he left. I couldn't stay in Nice and eventually I found myself in Rome...  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. A HOSPITAL (ROME) - MORNING  
  
Vaughn is lying in a hospital bed. His eye is swollen shut and his jaw and temple are severely bruised. He looks like someone punched him and slammed his face into a bar, which is pretty much what happened. Slowly he opens his one good eye and he sees someone sitting next to his bed off-screen. He tries to smile but the bruises on his face make it into more of a wincing grin.  
  
VAUGHN  
Please tell me that this was just the worst dream ever.   
  
It's Sydney sitting by his bed. She doesn't say anything. She just shakes her head.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, I didn't think so.   
  
He tries to sit up but it hurts too much.   
  
VAUGHN  
Damn what the hell happened to me? Last thing I remember was the bar in Trattoria de Nardi and a big ugly guy named Silvio.   
  
He reaches a hand and gingerly touches the injuries on his face, especially that nasty eye. Think Will in Almost Thirty Years.   
  
VAUGHN  
I think he hit me.   
  
He looks at the back of his hand and sees some bruising on his knuckles.   
  
VAUGHN  
At least it looks like I hit him back.   
  
He looks over at Syd who's still not speaking. He raises his good eyebrow.   
  
VAUGHN  
So does this black eye make me look rakish and sexy?   
  
She shakes her head and gives him a sad smile.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, what are you doing?  
  
Vaughn is completely taken aback by this. He's been talking to her for a while now but this is the first time she's ever talked back. He looks at the IV bag hanging by his bed wondering just what kind of drugs they're giving him. Finally he manages a confused:   
  
VAUGHN  
Um... Trying to flirt with you?   
  
SYDNEY  
I'm serious. Drinking all day? Getting into bar fights? This isn't you.  
  
Vaughn is seriously wigging out at this point so his reply is nervous and strained. He first tries to avoid the subject and lighten things up.  
  
VAUGHN  
You didn't know me when I was in college.   
  
Syd just gives him a disapproving look and he decides to just go with it. So what if his dead girlfriend is talking to him?   
  
VAUGHN  
Sorry. Look, um... Syd, this is all I know to do anymore. Everything else reminds me of you.  
  
SYDNEY  
So you're trying to forget me?  
  
VAUGHN  
No. I could never do that.  
  
SYDNEY  
Then what are you doing?  
  
VAUGHN  
I don't know. I just know that I can't go back to LA and I sure as hell can't go back to the Agency.   
  
SYDNEY  
So you're just going to give up and drink yourself to death?   
  
VAUGHN  
It's not like I have all that much to live for.   
  
SYDNEY  
Stop it!   
  
He looks up in surprise.  
  
SYDNEY  
Stop it right now. If you want to kill yourself, fine. Do it. But don't you dare do it because of me. I risked my life to save yours and I would do anything for just one more second of mine. So don't insult me by casually throwing your life away in my name when you know damn well that I would never approve.   
  
He's frustrated with trying to explain his actions, first to her dad and now to her. Or, you know, whatever.   
  
VAUGHN  
But I don't know what else to do. Without you here nothing means anything.   
  
SYDNEY  
Your life had meaning before you met me.  
  
VAUGHN  
What I had before was nothing compared to what I had with you. And I can't imagine anything else ever will.  
  
SYDNEY  
That may be true. But this isn't the first time that you've lost someone close to you.  
  
VAUGHN  
It was different with my dad.  
  
SYDNEY  
No it wasn't. Not really. I know. I went through the same thing with my mom, with Danny. It hurts like hell and you wonder how you'll ever make it without them but you do. You get out of bed, you go to school, you go to work... You live the life they would have wanted you to have.   
  
Vaughn is saddened by her words.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, I don't know if I can do this without you. I don't even want to.  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, I do. And I want you to.  
  
VAUGHN  
I already told you. I can't go back...  
  
She reaches out and places a hand on his. He's both calmed and freaked out at her touch.  
  
SYDNEY  
I know. I'm not asking you to. But you can't do this anymore. You'll know what to do. But you can't even begin to figure out what that is if you're not even looking.   
  
He looks down at their hands and then up at her.  
  
VAUGHN  
What about you?  
  
She gives him a reassuring smile.  
  
SYDNEY  
It's okay. I'll be here. Now go to sleep. You need to get some rest.   
  
Vaughn looks like he's about to protest but he's suddenly very tired and his eyes droop closed. They stay that way for a second, maybe two before they're slowly opening again. He's groggy and he peers out uncertainly.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd...  
  
She's not there anymore. 


	6. Chapter 6

INT. A HOSPITAL (ROME) - CONTINUED  
  
Although Sydney is no longer there Weiss is.  
  
WEISS  
Sorry, man, it's just me.   
  
Vaughn is confused.  
  
VAUGHN  
Eric? What are you doing here?  
  
WEISS  
Kendall sent me.  
  
VAUGHN  
Kendall? But how did he...  
  
WEISS  
When a CIA agent gets beaten up they tend to worry. They sent me to make sure that an enemy agent didn't assault you.   
  
Vaughn is still a bit out of it after his talk with Syd. He's looking around for evidence she was even there so his response is distracted.  
  
VAUGHN  
Oh... I didn't even think about that.  
  
Weiss looks at his friend with concern.   
  
WEISS  
No. I doubt you did. (beat) Mike, what the hell are you doing?  
  
Vaughn looks back at his friend with a sigh.   
  
VAUGHN  
That seems to be the question of the day, doesn't it?   
  
Weiss doesn't know what he's talking about so Vaughn answers his question.  
  
VAUGHN  
I don't know. (beat) Actually that's not entirely true. I do know. I just haven't wanted to admit it to myself.   
  
He looks at Weiss with sadness and fatigue.  
  
VAUGHN  
I miss her so much.  
  
Now Weiss understands.  
  
WEISS  
I know you do.   
  
Weiss smiles at him.  
  
WEISS  
But, hey, it's probably a good thing that she isn't here cause you know what she'd do if she was.  
  
VAUGHN  
Kick my ass for being an idiot and getting into a bar fight?   
  
WEISS  
Damn straight. (beat) What was the fight about anyway?   
  
VAUGHN  
I don't even know how I ended up at the bar let along how the fight started. Why don't you ask the other guy?  
  
WEISS  
He didn't know either.   
  
He looks at Vaughn's face.   
  
WEISS  
Well, at least you got a nice shiner out of the deal.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah, but how does the other guy look?  
  
WEISS  
I'd love to tell you that he's still unconscious in the next room after the sound beating you gave him but he pretty much walked away from the whole thing. After the local CIA station chief scared the crap out of him while questioning the poor guy they released him.  
  
VAUGHN  
I take it he wasn't an enemy agent then.  
  
WEISS  
Nope. Just a florist.  
  
VAUGHN  
A florist?! I got the crap beaten out of me by a florist?  
  
WEISS  
Well if it makes you feel any better he was the biggest meanest looking florist I've ever seen.   
  
VAUGHN  
Aww, hell. (beat) So I guess Kendall's pretty pissed at me.  
  
WEISS  
Oh, yeah. He wants me to bring you in for a disciplinary hearing  
  
VAUGHN  
I took an indefinite leave of absence.  
  
WEISS  
But technically you're still CIA.  
  
Vaughn gets serious.  
  
VAUGHN  
Maybe I should do something to change that.   
  
Weiss doesn't like that one bit.  
  
WEISS  
Mike, all you've ever wanted to do was work for the Agency. Maybe you should think about this for a while first.   
  
VAUGHN  
What do you think I've been doing for the last few months? There's nothing left at the CIA for me.   
  
That hurts. Vaughn realizes what he said and we can tell he feels bad.  
  
VAUGHN  
Other than my friends. But still, I just don't see the point in going back. My dad gave his life to the Agency and all it did was get him killed. And now I've given most of my life to them and for what? Yeah, I found his killer but they already knew and then they let her go.   
  
WEISS  
What about Sydney?  
  
Vaughn just looks at Weiss with an expression that conveys all his frustration, pain, and grief. It's a look that says, "Exactly."   
  
WEISS  
Alright, so don't come back to the CIA. But now what? Time for some more drinking while getting beat up by freakishly large Italian florists?   
  
VAUGHN  
No. I have to move on. If for no other reason than Syd would want me to. It's just hard to imagine my life outside the CIA, especially without her. (beat) You know she considered quitting once. I couldn't figure out why. I mean, given everything she'd been through it made sense that she'd want to get out but it was hard to reconcile that with how amazing she was in the field. And I know there were times when she loved it. Despite nearly getting killed practically every week.   
  
WEISS  
I remember. Some of the stunts she'd pull...  
  
VAUGHN  
Tell me about it. And she wondered why I couldn't sleep when she was on a mission. (beat) But I think the thought of leaving was always there. I still remember the day she told me she was graduating from college. She worked so hard to get that degree when it would have been so much easier to just give it up, finish it later.   
  
WEISS  
Did she ever say why she did it?  
  
VAUGHN  
She needed a light at the end of the tunnel, something to tell her that someday she would have a life outside of all this. She was so tired when she told me. We'd just taken down SD-6 and she was done. She just wanted to be a teacher and live a normal life.  
  
WEISS  
Sydney Bristow living a normal life? She'd get bored in a week.  
  
VAUGHN  
That's what I told her. But I think she could've really enjoyed it, the honest uncomplicated existence that kind of life would give her. I was so used to seeing her in the field that it wasn't until we started dating that I realized she had this whole other side to her. This adorably goofy normal side that loved all the simple pleasures in life like a quiet afternoon reading good a book. After that I could just imagine her standing up there introducing her students to her favorite novels and authors. She always looked so happy and peaceful when she would read. And she was constantly sharing her favorite passages with me.   
  
Vaughn smiles thoughtfully.  
  
VAUGHN  
Maybe that's what I should do.   
  
WEISS  
What? Become an English teacher? When was the last time you even read a book?   
  
VAUGHN  
Gee, your confidence in me is overwhelming. Actually if I taught anything it would be French. My mom taught me when I was a kid and she showed me all these little memory aids that I could use with my students. It could be fun.   
  
WEISS  
I guess if that's what you really want to do...  
  
VAUGHN  
I'm not sure. It's just an idea. But I know I can't keep doing this.  
  
WEISS  
Does that mean you're coming back to LA?  
  
VAUGHN  
I'll come back for a visit but I think I might try to find something over here and see where that goes. Although I don't even know how to become a teacher or if I can so I'll have to look into that first. And, you know, there's Kendall.  
  
WEISS  
You let me worry about Kendall.  
  
VAUGHN  
Thanks.  
  
WEISS  
No worries. I'm just glad to have you back.   
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah. Me too.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUED  
  
Syd is overwhelmed by all this and can't sit still any longer. Vaughn just watches her pace around the room, letting her absorb what he's just told her. She looks at him and starts to say something but then she turns back to her pacing. Finally she faces him again.   
  
SYDNEY  
That's what you meant when you said I was the reason you moved on.  
  
VAUGHN  
Pretty much. I don't know if it was a dream or a hallucination or what. I'd talked to you before but that was the only time you ever talked back. I thought I was going crazy. Maybe I was. It doesn't really matter. You or whatever told me exactly what I needed to hear. Cause if I hadn't found a way to get on with my life... I don't think I would've lasted much longer.   
  
He smiles.   
  
VAUGHN  
And then I wouldn't have been able to see you again. That's why I don't regret moving on.   
  
Syd is still trying to process everything.  
  
SYDNEY  
And that's why you became a teacher? Because of me?  
  
VAUGHN  
It just felt right. And it reminded me of you, which thankfully was no longer a bad thing. You know, I didn't teach for all that long but I actually enjoyed it. I can see why you wanted to do it.   
  
Syd sits down with a dejected look in her eyes.  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah. Although it look like that's never going to happen.  
  
VAUGHN  
You don't know that. Look how fast we brought down SD-6.   
  
SYDNEY  
But it didn't stop with SD-6. It still hasn't stopped. And I'm beginning to wonder if it ever will.   
  
Vaughn moves over and sits next to her on the couch. He puts his hand on hers.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, I thought you were dead. I was certain I would never see you again. And then one phone call and a plane ride to Hong Kong and there you were. (beat) As far as I'm concerned nothing is impossible.   
  
She looks down at his hand on hers. It's his left one.  
  
SYDNEY  
Some things still are. 


	7. Chapter 7

INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUED  
  
Vaughn takes his hand off hers, looks at his wedding ring, and sighs.  
  
VAUGHN  
Sydney...  
  
She regretted it the instant she said it and now she tries to gloss over it and move on. She tries to sound conversational but it ends up sounding forced.  
  
SYDNEY  
So, how did you two meet?  
  
Vaughn knows what she's trying to do.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, are you sure...  
  
She takes a deep breath and looks him straight in the eye.  
  
SYDNEY  
I want to know. Really, I do. (beat) So Weiss told me that you two met while she was investigating my mother.  
  
Vaughn sighs. Part of the reason he came over tonight was to explain what happened between him and Lauren but now that it's actually time to do it he hesitates. But he owes her an explanation so he plows ahead.  
  
VAUGHN  
After Rome I went to LA for a visit but then I heard about this program in Marseilles where college students from all over go to learn French.  
  
He smiles.  
  
VAUGHN  
In between the drinking and the partying and the... Well, you know. They had a position open and since I spoke multiple languages they were willing to overlook my inexperience.  
  
SYDNEY  
They have programs like that?  
  
VAUGHN  
That's what I thought. I wish the CIA language school were run like that. It was nice. I taught in the morning and then I had the rest of the day to ride my bike, take a drive, whatever. It was almost perfect.  
  
He gives her a meaningful look.  
  
VAUGHN  
Anyways, I was able to find some peace and I even had fun.  
  
Syd smiles.  
  
SYDNEY  
I bet you did. Those college girls must have been all over you.  
  
Vaughn wasn't expecting her to say that but he recovers and gives her a seductive smile.  
  
VAUGHN  
Can you blame them?  
  
Syd laughs and so does Vaughn. She doesn't buy his "God's gift to women" act and he can't maintain it.  
  
VAUGHN  
Seriously though, it wasn't like that. They were too busy with the local French guys their own age. I swear some of the lines those guys would use. And the way they would exaggerate their accents. Girls don't really go for that, do they?  
  
SYDNEY  
I don't. But there is something to be said for a guy with an accent. Although I prefer just a hint of one that likes to slip in every now and then.  
  
VAUGHN  
Well, the girls over there didn't. I didn't mind though. I was finally able to enjoy being alone again.  
  
SYDNEY  
And then Lauren came along?  
  
Syd was enjoying just talking to him so she's loath to bring up his wife but she wants to know what happened. Vaughn nods.  
  
VAUGHN  
A couple weeks after I started I got a call from Weiss saying he was coming over with someone from the NSC to question me about your mom, particularly my independent investigation of her. As you know the investigation turned up nothing so it was a short interview and afterward the three of us went out to eat.  
  
SYDNEY  
The two of you hit it off?  
  
Vaughn's a little uncomfortable talking about this with her.  
  
VAUGHN  
I guess so. We compared notes on our duel nationalities. Her mom's British, mine's French. That sort of thing. But I wasn't looking for anything other than a nice dinner to catch up on things with Weiss. I only invited her cause it would have been rude not to. It just felt way too soon to even think about getting involved in a relationship. But she was back a few weeks later for some conference or something and she asked if I wouldn't mind meeting her for lunch.  
  
SYDNEY  
Ah, your first date.  
  
VAUGHN  
Actually I turned her down. I was busy with school and, to be honest, I felt like I'd be betraying you if I went out with someone else.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, it would have been okay. I know what I said before, about you losing faith, but I was just tired and scared. I didn't mean it. You had no reason to think that I was alive.  
  
VAUGHN  
But part of me thinks that I should have known. I should have sensed it.   
  
SYDNEY  
Sensed it? Come on, you're not psychic.   
  
VAUGHN  
I know. And you know me, I usually don't believe in that sort of thing. I leave that stuff up to my crazy Aunt Trish. But I do believe in my instincts, especially when it came to you. Whenever you were hurt or in trouble or if you needed me, instinctively I knew. I could feel it. But after you died I couldn't feel anything. That's why I was so certain you were gone and you weren't coming back. (beat) And so the next time Lauren was out my way and she asked me out I said yes. She was nice and we got along. It was comfortable.  
  
SYDNEY  
How long was it before you got married?  
  
VAUGHN  
A little over ten months. We went out on a few more dates while I was in France but it was just too hard. She was always pressed for time and after our first date we'd always have to meet in whatever city she was in. It wasn't until I found a job and moved back here that we were able to go out on normal dates instead of, say, stuffy boring diplomatic functions. Then one weekend about seven months after we started dating she surprises me with reservations at the Venetian in Vegas. We're having a good time and one night we pass by this chapel and there was a couple getting married and looking ridiculously in love at which point she turns to me and says, "Let's get married."  
  
SYDNEY  
Wait, I thought you got married in Virginia.  
  
VAUGHN  
We did. I was too shocked to speak and after thinking about what she'd said she realized her mom and dad would hate it if she got married without them so she nixed the idea of getting married in Vegas. But she still wanted to get married.  
  
SYDNEY  
So she asked you to marry her?  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah. Surprised the hell out of me. I didn't feel ready at all. I was still getting used to dating again. But then I thought about all the time I wasted with you. You know, I was in love with you almost from the moment we met, even if I didn't know or acknowledge it. But even when I did realize it I still didn't do anything.  
  
SYDNEY  
There was nothing you could have done. I mean, look at what happened in Nice. It would have been too risky.  
  
VAUGHN   
Yeah but it would have been worth it. I know we could have figured something out. (beat) At the very least I should have told you how I felt.  
  
This surprises her.  
  
SYDNEY  
But you did. You didn't say the words but what you did say and, more importantly what you did, made it clear enough. I just wasn't willing to acknowledge it either.  
  
Vaughn sighs.  
  
VAUGHN  
If only...  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah. (beat) So, you said yes.  
  
And they're back on that lovely topic again.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah. Like I said, I was comfortable with her and I cared about her and she cared about me so I said yes. The one thing that really bothered me was her job. I was trying to avoid intelligence work but she wasn't allowed to discuss anything with me anyway so I could ignore it. Plus she already knew about you and since I still wasn't ready to talk about what happened that helped.  
  
SYDNEY  
So you never talked to her about us?  
  
Vaughn's not sure how to explain.  
  
VAUGHN  
She knew we dated and how I felt about you but that's it. I just never felt like I could talk to her about you. I wasn't trying to forget you and there were times when I'd start to tell her about us but I never did. There were just certain things that felt like they belonged between us and no one else. (beat) Does that make sense?  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah. I mean, it's not like I ever really told you about Danny.  
  
VAUGHN  
Well, we didn't have all that much time to talk.  
  
SYDNEY  
But even when we did I never said anything.   
  
VAUGHN  
To be fair I never asked.  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah, but I did the same thing you did. I'd think about telling you but something always held me back. I guess I just didn't want you to think I was comparing you to him cause I wasn't. It wouldn't have been fair. What I had with him was so different from what I had with you. So I never said anything.  
  
VAUGHN  
That's how I feel with Lauren. There's just no grounds for a comparison so I never said anything either. And she never asked so it was easy to keep it to myself.  
  
SYDNEY  
Until I came.  
  
VAUGHN  
Until you came.   
  
He gets a thoughtful look.  
  
VAUGHN  
I still remember getting the call. She was at a NATO conference so I was home alone. I had fallen asleep grading papers...  
  
CUT TO: 


	8. Chapter 8

INT. VAUGHN'S STUDY - LATE NIGHT  
  
Vaughn is passed out on a stack of papers on his desk. He's snoring lightly when the phone starts ringing. He sleepily answers the phone. We stay on Vaughn throughout the conversation.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yeah...  
  
We hear Weiss on the other end. He sounds uncertain.  
  
WEISS  
Mike, it's Eric.  
  
That wakes Vaughn up a little. He looks at the clock. It's 3 in the morning.  
  
VAUGHN  
What's wrong? Did something happen to Lauren?  
  
WEISS  
No. It's not Lauren. It's Sydney.  
  
Now Vaughn is really awake.  
  
VAUGHN  
Sydney? What the hell are you talking about?  
  
WEISS  
She's alive. At least we think she is.  
  
VAUGHN  
What?! How? Where?  
  
WEISS  
She just called in from Hong Kong. Kendall directed her to the safe house.  
  
VAUGHN  
Kendall? But he transferred out of the division.  
  
WEISS  
She used an old code that still had a protocol to pass her on to Kendall.  
  
VAUGHN  
Are we sure it's her?  
  
WEISS  
I'm looking at video right now and it's either her or...  
  
VAUGHN  
They've somehow created another double.   
  
WEISS  
We don't have the tech to do an ocular scan over there but they did debrief her. Mike, she doesn't know how she got there and the last thing she remembers was fighting Allison.  
  
VAUGHN  
But that was two years ago. What the hell is going on?  
  
WEISS  
I don't know. But Dixon wants you to go and pick her up.  
  
VAUGHN  
Me? I'm not on active duty. And besides, I'd think Jack would already be on his way.  
  
WEISS  
Lauren never told you?  
  
VAUGHN  
Told me what? She never talks about work. Why? What happened? Is he okay? He's not dead, is he?  
  
WEISS  
No, he's just, um, unavailable.  
  
VAUGHN  
Unavailable? His daughter might be alive and he's unavailable?  
  
WEISS  
Look, I can't tell you anymore than that. Dixon wants you in the air in less than an hour.  
  
VAUGHN  
Eric, I don't know about this.  
  
WEISS  
We've got a video of her debrief and physically she seems okay but... Mike, she's scared. I mean it she is absolutely terrified. Dixon and I can't go cause of our responsibilities here and we don't want to send someone she doesn't know...  
  
Vaughn sighs.   
  
VAUGHN  
Which leaves me. (beat) She's really that scared?   
  
WEISS  
I've never seen her like this.   
  
Vaughn thinks about it. We can tell he wants to go and help her but one question is holding him back.  
  
VAUGHN  
But what if it's not her? Eric, I can't go over there thinking it's her and then find out...  
  
WEISS  
I know. But what if it is?  
  
Vaughn knows he doesn't have a choice.   
  
VAUGHN  
I'll go. I'll know if it's her when I get there. See you in 30 minutes.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUED  
  
Sydney and Vaughn are still sitting next to each other on the couch and Syd is looking at him with new understanding.  
  
SYDNEY  
You didn't think it was me?  
  
VAUGHN  
I couldn't let myself think it was you. If I did and it wasn't it'd be like losing you all over again. I had to keep my distance until I knew for sure.  
  
SYDNEY  
That's why you were acting so weird.  
  
VAUGHN  
That and I was in shock. When I first saw you... I wanted so badly to believe it was you. But then you beat me up and made a run for it.  
  
Syd looks down sheepishly.  
  
SYDNEY  
Yeah, sorry about that.   
  
VAUGHN  
It's okay. You were kinder than my friend the Italian florist. But when you did that it made me wonder. It wasn't until after I shot you - which I want to apologize for...  
  
SYDNEY  
It's okay. You had to do it.   
  
VAUGHN  
I know. But that didn't make it any easier. And then when you turned around you had this look on your face... That's when I knew without a doubt that it was you. I felt sick.  
  
Syd gives him a reassuring smile.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, it's really okay. I hit you, choked you, and kicked you. Let's just call it even.   
  
Vaughn laughs and rubs his chest.  
  
VAUGHN  
I had no idea how hard you could kick. I swear your leg was like a piston. The way you handed me my ass should have probably convinced me it was you.  
  
SYDNEY  
Well, apparently that's not all that hard to do.   
  
Vaughn gives her a good-natured glare. She gets serious.  
  
SYDNEY  
Sorry. (beat) As you probably noticed, I wasn't sure it was you, either. Not until Dixon told me when I woke up in the hospital. Truthfully, I didn't want to believe it was you, that my Vaughn would get married without me.  
  
She says it all without anger or recrimination but it still hurts.  
  
VAUGHN  
Sorry.  
  
SYDNEY  
You thought I was dead. That's really all there is to say.  
  
VAUGHN  
No, it's not.   
  
He takes a deep breath and starts talking very much like he did in the Flirting Corner.   
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, I spent the entire ride back on the plane sitting next to you. I couldn't believe it. I thought I'd lost you forever and there you were. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I could hardly breathe. I kept waiting to wake up and find you gone like I always did. But I didn't. It was really you, the one person that meant more than anything to me, and you were okay.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn...  
  
VAUGHN  
No, I need to say this. And you need to hear it. I know I haven't acted like it. I know I've been distant. But I'm tired and I can't do it anymore. I can't keep pretending that getting you back isn't the best thing that has ever happened to me. There hasn't been a day since I lost you that I haven't desperately wished for just one more second with you. Syd, I've missed you every second of every day ever since I dropped you off at your house two years ago.  
  
She's just as surprised at hearing this in real life as she was in his dream.  
  
SYDNEY  
You have?  
  
VAUGHN  
Of course I have. And I am so sorry for making you doubt that. I love you, Syd. I always have and I always will.  
  
Syd is obviously excited to hear this but her face falls when she remembers their situation.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, please... We can't...  
  
VAUGHN  
Look, I'm not suggesting anything. I couldn't do that. Not to Lauren. And certainly not to you. You deserve so much more than that, so much more than me.  
  
Syd can't stand watching him beat himself up over this.   
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, you didn't do anything wrong.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yes, I did. I've been pushing you away ever since you came back, making you feel like I didn't care about you when I never stopped. But I've been too afraid to do anything because every time I see you it's like the last two years haven't happened and I want to pick right back up where we left off.  
  
She starts to object.  
  
VAUGHN  
I know. We can't. But everything we had, everything we were, was based on our friendship. I knew that you would be there for me and I promised myself that I would always be there for you. I miss that and I want to try and get it back.  
  
SYDNEY  
What about Lauren?  
  
VAUGHN  
This isn't about Lauren.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, she's your wife.   
  
VAUGHN  
And you're my best friend. (quietly) At least you used to be. (beat) Now I know I made a commitment to Lauren but I made one to you too. It's like I told you last night, you've got my number and I will always be your ally.  
  
SYDNEY  
And like I told you last night, I don't know if I can be just friends with you.  
  
VAUGHN  
Neither do I. And I know it's going to be hard. But when has anything between us been easy? We had to fight for what we had. It was hard but we did it because we knew that in the end it'd be worth it. I have to believe that that's still the case.  
  
SYDNEY  
You're right. We struggled to get where we were. But look at where we are. What did we get? A few months? And then what?  
  
VAUGHN  
I wouldn't trade those months with you for anything.   
  
She looks at him with infinite anguish in her eyes.   
  
SYDNEY  
Neither would I. But they're over. We're over. And as much as I miss you, as much as I would love to be your friend, I can't ignore the way I feel. It used to be that whenever I was sad or tired or angry all it took was the sound of your voice, the touch of your hand, the look in your eye, and I could believe that it was going to be okay. That's not how it is anymore. Now, when I look at you, all I see is everything I've lost.  
  
Vaughn can't believe what he's hearing.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, you haven't lost me. I'm still here.  
  
She looks at his hand again.  
  
SYDNEY  
Except now you're wearing that ring. 


	9. Chapter 9

INT. SYDNEY'S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUED  
  
Vaughn sighs and stands up.   
  
VAUGHN  
If that's the way you really feel, if you honestly don't think that you can work with me, then I'll hand in my resignation in the morning.  
  
He starts to move toward the door but she stands up and puts her hand on his arm to stop him.  
  
SYDNEY  
What? Vaughn, wait, that's not what I meant.  
  
Vaughn turns to face her.  
  
VAUGHN  
Look, Syd, the only reason I came back was to help you but I'm obviously doing just the opposite so...  
  
SYDNEY  
What are you talking about? Weiss said you were thinking about coming back before I showed up.   
  
VAUGHN  
I was. But I liked teaching and while I considered doing some consulting I was never going to come back as an agent. Weiss has been trying to get me to come back ever since I left and I just couldn't tell him no, so I told him I'd think about it.  
  
SYDNEY  
Then why did you come back?  
  
VAUGHN  
You. Why else?  
  
SYDNEY  
Me? But at the school...  
  
VAUGHN  
I was hurt by what you'd said before and angry, mostly with myself, so I took it out on you. I'm sorry but losing you hurt so goddamn much and to be told that I didn't love you enough...  
  
He pauses to calm down.   
  
VAUGHN  
Still the worst part was that I knew you were right. I gave up. And I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I was too busy getting drunk off my ass and wallowing in grief when I should have been trying to find out what happened to you. So when you came back I decided that I would never let you down again, that I would do everything I could to help. I never wanted to make your life harder and if I am then I'll leave.  
  
Sydney doesn't know what to do or say. The look he's giving her is so intense that she has to turn away. He nods, thinking it's over, and starts to leave. Quietly, her voice rough, she says:   
  
SYDNEY  
Don't.   
  
He stops.  
  
SYDNEY  
I want you to stay.  
  
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, if...  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn.   
  
She says his name in that way she has, the one that conveys everything she feels about him into a single word. He turns and looks at her. Both of their eyes are wet with tears.  
  
SYDNEY  
I love you. I can't change that. I don't even want to try. And yes, it will be difficult working with you but... I need you. I need your strength. I need your support. (beat) I need your friendship. I want more than that but I'd rather learn how to work with you than have to live without you.  
  
VAUGHN  
Are you sure?  
  
SYDNEY  
No. But if I've learned anything it's that there are no certainties in this life and all we can do is hold on to what we have.   
  
Vaughn walks back toward her. He has that look again.  
  
VAUGHN  
I'll hold on if you will.  
  
He's getting closer and tears are falling down Sydney's cheeks. She's afraid.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, I swear, if you don't...  
  
He stops right in front in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders.  
  
VAUGHN  
Look at me. I promise you, I won't let go.  
  
She lets herself fall into his arms as he steps forward to hold her for the first time since the alley in Hong Kong. He closes his eyes and rests his head upon hers.  
  
VAUGHN  
Thank you.   
  
Reluctantly she pulls away but not too far. She looks uncertain.  
  
SYDNEY  
Do you really think we can do this? Things have been so awkward between us...  
  
VAUGHN  
I know. But I'm not willing to walk away from you, from us. At least not without trying to make this work.  
  
SYDNEY  
I know you said that this was just between us but you can't ignore Lauren.   
  
VAUGHN  
You're right. But I'm not cheating on her by being friends with you.   
  
SYDNEY  
Is that how she's going to see it?  
  
VAUGHN  
If she doesn't trust me with you then that's something for her and I to deal with, not for you to worry about.  
  
She's still a little wary.  
  
SYDNEY  
Vaughn, I...  
  
VAUGHN  
Syd, I know you have doubts. So do I. And I wish I had all the answers but I don't. All I know is how I feel.  
  
He says this with his usual intensity but the moment is undercut by the sound of his stomach rumbling. Syd raises an eyebrow.   
  
SYDNEY  
Hungry?  
  
They both laugh. The tension that was between them lessens.  
  
VAUGHN  
Apparently.   
  
She smiles  
  
SYDNEY  
Me too. (beat) Why don't I order us a pizza and we can watch the Kings game.  
  
VAUGHN  
You sure?  
  
SYDNEY  
I'll be okay.   
  
She smiles.  
  
SYDNEY  
I've gotten used to watching them lose by now.   
  
He smiles.  
  
VAUGHN  
I don't know, I think this may be their year.   
  
SYDNEY  
You always say that.   
  
VAUGHN  
And one of these days I'll be right.   
  
She shakes her head and holds up the menu for the local pizza place she orders from.  
  
SYDNEY  
The works okay?  
  
Vaughn's stomach rumbles again. Syd laughs.  
  
SYDNEY  
I'll take that as a yes.   
  
He sits back down on the couch and turns on the TV as she starts to phone in their order. Then his phone rings. He answers it.  
  
VAUGHN  
Vaughn.  
  
We hear Weiss on the other end.  
  
WEISS  
You're parked in front of Sydney's.  
  
VAUGHN  
Yes. I am.   
  
WEISS  
Does that mean...  
  
VAUGHN  
Yes.  
  
WEISS  
And?   
  
Vaughn looks back at Syd who's busy ordering.   
  
VAUGHN  
She's ordering a pizza and we're gonna watch the game.  
  
WEISS  
Thank God! (beat) Sorry, but you have no idea how hard it's been watching the two or you, all the awkwardness and the tension, I'm not kidding, it's been physically painful.   
  
VAUGHN  
Well, I apologize for the inconvenience.   
  
WEISS  
That's okay. Apology accepted.   
  
VAUGHN  
Hey, why don't you come over and we'll make it up to you with some pizza.   
  
WEISS  
You don't really want me to come over. But thanks anyway. Just make sure that what happened between you and Sydney doesn't happen again.  
  
VAUGHN  
I'm trying.  
  
He hangs up as Syd comes down to sit next to him with a beer.   
  
THE END 


End file.
